


Hold me close.

by lizibabes



Series: Angst Bingo [7]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: M/M, Seizure, Swearing, sex.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-07
Updated: 2012-02-07
Packaged: 2017-10-30 17:48:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/334452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizibabes/pseuds/lizibabes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the prompt seizures on angst bingo, Abstinence for 7_virtues and #33 cuddles for smut_69. When Adam collapse at an award show and has a seizure, everyone in the media seems to accuse him of having a drug problem, but Tommy doesn't believe that for a second.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hold me close.

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: I_glitterz  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this story and as far as I’m aware this never happened.  
> This isn't meant to be medically accurate, but I've tried to keep it as true to life as possible.

He's felt like shit ever since he got up, but he'd had a full day of interviews and now he's getting ready to go perform at an awards show. He loves singing, but right now, he would rather be back in his hotel wrapped up in bed, maybe with someone to cuddle him. It doesn't help that at least three different people who are working to keep the show organized have asked what drug he's on, like not feeling good isn't enough reason to have flushed cheeks, to be sweating. Hell, even some of the band members are giving him looks. Yeah his eyes look a little weird, but Adam thinks it's because of some kind of fever, he feels like he's burning up. When Tommy comes and sits next to him, offering a chilled bottle of water out to him, Adam snaps.  
　  
"How many times do I have to say I'm not on anything, I've not even had a single drink." He's feeling way too ill to even consider alcohol.  
　  
"Dude, wasn't gonna say anything like that, your cheeks are all red, you’re sweating, you need to drink or you'll get dehydrated," Tommy says, still holding the bottle out to Adam, not looking like he's at all bothered by Adam snapping at him.  
　  
"You don't have to look after me," Adam says quietly. He feels horrible, he aches all the way down to his bones, and everything hurts. He can't ever remember feeling so ill, but he still shouldn't snap at Tommy. Tommy cuddles into his side before he speaks again. He feels like a monk around Tommy, he wants, but he can't have. He could sleep with someone else, instead of forcing abstinence on himself, but no one messages up to Tommy, not just his looks, but the way Tommy is; kind, caring, laid back, sweet and loyal.   
　  
"You'd do the same for me." Tommy shrugs, like it's that simple and maybe it is. Adam takes care of the people he cares about, he fusses around Tommy if he has so much as the sniffles. Hell he probably tries to look after Tommy more than he does anyone else, not because Tommy can't look after himself, but because Adam just likes to, because no matter what he says to the world, he knows inside that Tommy is special to him, in ways he just can't bring himself to admit.  
　  
"Thanks." Adam sighs, taking the water. It feels great in his hands, refreshing, icy cold. He wishes he could rub it all over his face, but that would fuck up his makeup worse than his sweat already is. He's already going to look terrible as it is. He's pale everywhere, apart from his scarlet cheeks and his eyes are fever bright.   
　  
"If you’re not better by tomorrow, you’re seeing a doctor," Tommy orders.  
　  
"Yes, sir," Adam says before taking a sip of the water, it feels perfect on his throat. He should have thought about doing this himself. It had been hard to get through his warm ups, but now, with this he feels like he might actually be able to get through their short set. He doesn't know what he'd do without Tommy.   
　  
"And here I thought you didn't like following orders?" Tommy smirks, like the total little shit he is. He even winks at Adam when he gets up.   
　  
"Please, like you could Dom me." Adam laughs.  
　  
"Don't judge a book by its cover, Adam. Just because I'm small doesn't mean I'm submissive, I could surprise you," Tommy says, giving Adam a look that he can't quite read and suddenly his cheeks are flushing even hotter, from something other than the fever.   
　  
"Fucking tease," Adam grumbles.   
　  
Tommy just smiles, slow and dirty, like he's thinking of something truly filthy. Adam would give anything to be able to read Tommy's mind right now.  
　  
He makes it out onto the stage, thinks he manages to give a fairly good performance considering he feels like hammered shit. He doesn't miss the fact that Tommy keeps an eye on him throughout the whole performance. He's not watching Adam the way he's been looked at all day, not like he's on something and he's worried Adam will do something crazy if they take their eyes off him. No, Tommy isn't like the others, he's generally pretty good at reading Tommy unless he's really trying to hide something, but right now Tommy isn't even trying to hide his concern.  
　  
He's coming off stage, Tommy at his side when it all goes wrong. He goes to take a step and suddenly the floor's rushing up to meet him. He can hear people, snatches of conversations, but he doesn't know what's happening, can't get up, but doesn't know how to get his body working, make it move like he wants it to. He feels like he's moving, but he doesn't know why.  
　  
"What did he take?" Someone asks.  
　  
"Nothing." He'd recognise Tommy’s voice anywhere.  
　  
"Don't cover for him, he's having a seizure, we need to know." Someone else shouts and Adam wants to tell them not to yell at Tommy, what's to argue, but he can't do anything.  
　  
"I'm not covering for him, he's been sick all day, so fucking do something instead of playing twenty questions," Tommy snaps right back, more heat than Adam thinks he has ever heard. Then there is chaos and then there is nothing but darkness.   
　  
Then next time he wakes up, it's only for a few seconds, but he hears someone talking about blood tests to see what he took, he wants to tell them this isn't drugs. But he's being dragged back into darkness, nothing has ever made him feel this tired. He sleeps and he thinks maybe he sleeps for a long time, because when he wakes up, the room is filled with bright sunshine and Tommy who's asleep in the chair beside him and he has what looks like more than a day’s worth of stubble. Watching Tommy sleep, Adam wonders how long he's been in that chair.  
　  
"Oh, you’re awake," A nurse says walking into the room.  
　  
"I just woke up, what happened?" Adam asks.  
　  
"You had a seizure," The nurse says, coming closer and fussing with his blankets.  
　  
"But I don't have epilepsy or anything like that. I've never had a seizure before." Fuck, he hadn't thought he was that sick. He should have gone to see a doctor when he woke up feeling so sick, he shouldn't have gone to the interviews, determined to work even though he had known he was ill. He's so glad the award show was a one off and he still has over a month before he's due on tour again.   
　  
"You had a bad virus, it caused your fever to get so high that you had a seizure, it's more common in children, but you had such a high fever that it affected your body. You’re going to have to take it very easy. You’re out of the woods, but you were very sick, you need to rest." The nurse says firmly.  
　  
"How easy is very easy?" Adam asks, thinking about the rehearsals he has scheduled with the band.  
　  
"No work, no exercise, um, no sex with your boyfriend." The nurse says, blushing a little.  
　  
"Boyfriend?" Adam repeats.  
　  
"Oh, um, I thought, never mind." She glances to Tommy in the chair, to Adam and back to Tommy. So she thinks Tommy's his boyfriend? He wonders why, if he's been here a while there are probably people visiting regular, Tommy being asleep here doesn't mean anything.   
　  
"How long has he been there?" Adam asks. He can't stop his heart from fluttering and the thought of Tommy sleeping at his bedside.  
　  
"As far as I can tell, he hasn't left your side since the seizure, which was three days ago." The nurse gives Tommy a fond look, so clearly Tommy Joe has won over the nurse in the three days he's been here. He can't believe Tommy has been here with him, since he had the seizure back stage at the awards.  
　  
Tommy's still asleep when the doctor comes in and Adam doesn't wake him up, if he's been here three days, Adam doubts he's had much sleep, he's probably as worn out as Adam was by the seizure. He's kind of glad Tommy is asleep when the doctor gives him a long talk on abstinence; clearly it's not just the nurse who thinks Tommy's his boyfriend. His doctor tells him not to do anything that will risk him over heating or his heart racing too fast. He explains that Adam is very weak right now, from his body fighting off the virus. So it's abstinent or risk hindering his recovery. It's not like he's sexist, some kind of horn dog, but he doesn't like not having a choice. He's glad that Tommy wasn't awake to hear this.  
　  
It's not till the doctor leaves that Adam realize Tommy wasn't actually asleep, which becomes pretty obvious when he starts snickering quietly, eyes still closed, curled up in the chair, same as he had been when Adam woke up.   
　  
"Tommy, why are you laughing at me?" Adam groans.  
　  
"You've been ban from having an orgasm," Tommy says, opening his eyes and stretching out.  
　  
"I'm sick, you have to be nice to me," Adam groans out He's feeling pretty pathetic right now and having a talk about abstinence with a doctor was somehow worse than the sex talk his dad had given him when he was a teenager.  
　  
Tommy instantly looks guilty and it makes Adam feel like a total asshole.  
　  
"Hey, don't look like that, it is kind of funny. People are always going on about what a sex God I am, so abstinence due to doctor’s orders, it's kind of funny." Or it would be funny, if it was happening to someone other than him. He's not even allowed to jerk off.  
　  
"But you’re sick. I shouldn't be laughing about that," Tommy says softly. Standing up, he looks so lost that Adam just wants to cuddle him close. He feels too weak to be manhandling Tommy though, so he settles for reaching out with his hand, till Tommy gets what he wants, stepping closer and taking Adam's hand in his.  
　  
"Thank you, for believing me when nobody else did." It hurts, not that people would think he's using drugs, he's far from squeaky clean. He's tried a lot of things over the years. So he's not pissed people would think he was high, maybe annoyed that they think he'd get like that before a show. But the thing that pisses him off, really hurts, is that no one would take his word for it when he said he wasn't. They all thought he was lying, apart from Tommy.   
　  
"You wouldn't lie and you'd never get that messed up before a show." Tommy shrugs, no hesitation, he believes Adam, takes him at his word, when others hadn't.  
　  
"Still, thank you, for trusting me I guess." He squeezes Tommy's hand. As if Tommy wasn't perfect enough he has to go and believe in Adam, have more faith in him than anyone around him.  
　  
"I was so scared when you collapsed and then you started having a seizure, I was terrified. People kept asking me what you'd taken, they wouldn't listen to me when I said it wasn't drugs, they were wasting time." Tommy looks pissed and worried all at once.   
　  
"Well I'm okay now, going to be okay, just you know abstinent and not allowed to work." Adam sighs. He feels so tired, his whole body heavy.   
　  
"You need to take it easy," Tommy says firmly. Adam knows he pushes himself too hard sometimes, but he knows not to try right now. He's had a seizure, it's so scary, he doesn't ever want to risk that again.   
　  
"I'll be good, can I have a cuddle now?" Adam asks, he feels terrible, all he wants is the comfort of Tommy in his arms. One of his closest friends and he's been there, sleeping in a chair, just to keep watch of Adam while he was ill.  
　  
"Of course." Tommy pulls one of the metal sides of the bed down, climbing up beside Adam and cuddling close. He's small, warm and fits perfectly against Adam.  
　  
"Thank you." Adam nuzzles closer to Tommy, and it feels right to hold Tommy.  
　  
"No problem, been wanting to hug you ever since you had that seizure, hated seeing you sick," Tommy mumbles into Adam's chest.  
　  
"You really stayed with me the whole time, didn't you?" Adam asks, and it makes something flutter in his chest at the idea of Tommy not leaving his side, even though he knows it doesn't mean anything, not the way he wants it to.  
　  
"I couldn't, even when they said you'd be okay. I was just scared, like I said and I couldn't leave you," Tommy says softly, looking up at Adam, his bangs hanging in his eyes a little. Adam brushes the hair gently back, away from Tommy's face and then he presses a soft kiss to Tommy's lips. He can't help it. He's wanted to kiss Tommy off stage, sober and not as part of some joke, for a long time. And even though he knows he'll get better, that the seizure was a one off, it's shaken him up. He doesn't want to regret the things he hadn't been brave enough to do.   
　  
Tommy kisses him back, chaste and slow, heat building gradually. Adam's heart starts racing, nothing has ever felt like this. His skin tingling, heart racing. It's just a kiss, it shouldn't feel so good, it's not like they haven't kissed before, but this feels different. Suddenly Tommy is slowing the kiss down, bringing it to a gradual stop. He pulls back, but stays cuddled up with him, so Adam's pretty sure Tommy isn't pissed about the kiss for some reason.   
　  
"Sorry, should I have not done that?" He doesn't want to have fucked things up. Tommy is too important to him. If he loses him, he doesn't know what he'll do, which is why he's not tried shit like this before, not in a situation where it couldn't be dismissed.   
　  
"No, um, I liked it, wanted it, but..." Tommy begins and Adam cuts him off.  
　  
"I know, you’re straight, I'm sorry." Adam sighs.  
　  
"Not what I was going to say," Tommy says, poking Adam in the ribs.  
　  
"Then what?" Adam asks.  
　  
"Abstinence. You’re not meant to get like turned on," Tommy points out.  
　  
"So if I was allowed, it'd be okay?" Adam both does and doesn't want an answer to that.  
　  
"I know you don't do curious straight boys, so I've, like, not made a move on you. I've never been with a guy, but I can't stop thinking about you. When you had the seizure, I was so scared that I'd never get a chance to tell you that I wanted to be more than friends, but I get it, if you don't want me like that," Tommy rambles.   
　  
"I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't want, too. Do you want to try, being with me?" Adam asks.  
　  
"Yeah, I want that. I don't want to waste any more time." Tommy nods, but when Adam goes to kiss him again, Tommy pulls away.  
　  
"I thought you wanted this?" Adam frowns.  
　  
"Abstinence!" Tommy says firmly.  
　  
"It's just a kiss, it's not like I'd try to dick you in my hospital bed," Adam grumbles.  
　  
"When you kiss me, it gets me hot. When you’re kissing me, I feel like I wouldn't say no to anything you asked me, so not risking it. No kissing, not till you’re like completely better and aren't risking having a seizure." Tommy sighs, he doesn't look happy about saying no and Adam can't help but feel a little smug at Tommy's words.  
　  
"You get that turned on when I kiss you?" Adam asks.  
　  
"Yes, at first it was just I noticed you were a really good kisser and it was fun. I liked the way people reacted and stuff. Then one show you kissed me and I just didn't want you to stop. But I mean it, we're not kissing or doing anything that could cause a seizure. I thought I was going to lose you, I can't do that again." He can see the fear in Tommy's eyes and he hates that he worried Tommy so much.  
　  
"Fine, no kissing," Adam pouts.  
　  
"We can cuddle though, but no funny business." Tommy smirks, wagging his finger in Adam's face.  
　  
"I know, abstinence. I heard the doctor telling me to keep it in my pants. To get well otherwise I could end up having a seizure and end up back in hospital. I don't want that, I want you," Adam says, stroking his hand over Tommy's cheek.  
　  
"No kissing." Tommy looks like he's trying to seem stern, but his hair’s a mess and he looks more like a cute fluffy kitten.  
　  
"Just cuddling," Adam agrees.  
　  
He sticks with it, demanding cuddles whenever he wants one while he's in the hospital, and Tommy never says no. He loves cuddling with Tommy, but it's also a little bit like inflicting torture on himself whenever he asks. He'd never though abstinence would be so hard, pun sort of intended. It's not that bad when he's in the hospital, constant risk of a nurse coming in and catching them. The nurse visits him a lot, checking his temperature to make sure it's not high enough to cause another seizure. When his temperature is finally close enough to being normal, he's allowed to go home.   
　  
Tommy comes to stay with him. They tell everyone it's so Tommy can look after him. Adam's still not meant to be exerting himself at all, so he'll need someone to help around the house. They don't say anything about sort of being together, both agreeing they want it to stay private, just for a little while, till they're sure what is going on between them. Having Tommy in his house, in his bed every night, it makes abstinence his own personal hell. Tommy refuses flat out to do anything more than cuddle. He'd think Tommy was nervous about doing anything with a man, but he knows Tommy has no problem with kissing. They've kissed plenty of times before. He knows Tommy's not avoiding intimacy. He's just scared that Adam will have another seizure. He wakes up with Tommy in his arms every morning, having fallen asleep cuddling every night. He wakes up hard, Tommy's ass against his groin every morning, and Tommy sleepy warm and hard in his arms.   
　  
Abstinence seems worse that the seizure, like some sort of punishment. All he wants is to be with Tommy, to strip him naked and kiss every little bit of skin he's never seen before. He's wanted Tommy for a long time, had never thought he would have him. Now Tommy's said he wants him, wants to be with him and Adam's let him know how he feels. So they’re together, but they can't touch, can't do anything but cuddle. If being ill hadn't made him brave enough to kiss Tommy, he'd be really pissy about it, well he's pissy, but it would be worse. His seizure, being hospitalized, it got him Tommy in his house, Tommy as his boyfriend. He just really wishes he could do more than cuddle Tommy.  
　  
He likes the cuddling sure, he's a total cuddle slut. They cuddle watching T.V, in bed at night, in the kitchen, all day, every day. Holding Tommy feels amazing, somehow different now that he knows Tommy is more than a friend, his feelings aren't one sided. Weeks after he first collapsed, he goes to see the doctor. He hardly even listens to what the guy has to say about the virus he had, all he wants to know is if he can stop being abstinent without having a seizure. He could kiss the doctor when he lifts the ban on sex.   
　  
He probably breaks the speed limit a few times in his rush to get back to his house, back to Tommy. He gets there quicker than he thinks he ever has. Then he sits in his car trying to calm down. He's dating the man of his dreams; he needs not to fuck this up. Just because he doesn't have to be abstinence anymore doesn't mean he can just go inside and fuck Tommy. Yes, he won't have a seizure, but Tommy's new to being with a man. Tommy lets him hold him, they've kissed before, but sex is a whole different story. He can't just go in and pounce Tommy.   
　  
When he feels like he's got a better hold on himself, he gets out of the car and heads up to his house. He finds Tommy in the kitchen, frowning at something in a pot. Adam sneaks up behind him, grabs him, pulling Tommy into his arms, cuddling him close, laughing when Tommy yelps.  
　  
"What are you doing, baby?" Adam asks.  
　  
"I didn't hear you come in," Tommy says as Adam puts him back down on his feet. Tommy turns in the circle of Adam's arm so he can face him.  
　  
"So what's in the pot?" Adam asks again.  
　  
"A failed attempted at cooking you dinner," Tommy admits.  
　  
"You cooked me dinner?" Adam asked.  
　  
"I figured if you got good news from the doctors, it could be like a celebration and if it had gone bad, it could be a meal to cheer you up." Tommy shrugs and it's so sweet that Adam can't resist dipping down to kiss Tommy, soft, sweet. He might be going crazy with want, might dream of fucking with Tommy, but he likes this. Being able to cuddle and kiss Tommy without having to question why either of them are doing it, what it means.  
　  
"Was it good news?" Tommy asks, pulling back from the kiss.  
　  
"I'm better, no signs of the virus, pretty much good as new." Adam nods.  
　  
"Then I have a better way to celebrate than dinner," Tommy says, smile so wicked it makes Adam's pulse speed up. Tommy's hands are at his waist, tugging on his belt loops, like he's trying to lead Adam somewhere.  
　  
"Wait, what?" Adam says. He didn't expect this reaction when he was sat in his car.  
　  
"Well I was thinking we should go have some sex or I could blow you or something. I mean I've been waking up to your morning wood poking me in the ass for weeks." Tommy shrugs.  
　  
"I thought you'd want to go slow. You've never been with a man." Adam doesn't think of himself as having a virgin kink, but a big part of him is really turned on about the idea of being the first man to touch Tommy, to fuck him, to date him.  
　  
"Adam we've been circling around this ever since we met, two years ago, that's beyond slow, that's, fuck I don't even know what that is." Tommy shrugs.  
　  
"Okay, I'm not going to argue." Adam's not stupid. If Tommy says he's ready for more than cuddling and making out, then he believes him.  
　  
He pulls Tommy in for a deep kiss, fucking his tongue into Tommy's mouth, the kiss warm and hot and clearly the lead up to more. They make it out of the kitchen, but only make it to the stairs, Tommy pinned under him as they both strip off their clothes, trying to get to skin. Adam needs to touch Tommy. He can't keep his hands to himself, running them over every new bit of skin he finds. There are places he's seen but never touched, places he hasn't even seen before. He's hard and aching, his body feels hot, but not fevered like it had been when he was ill.  
　  
"We can't fuck on my stairs," Adam groans, sucking at a patch of skin on Tommy's collarbone. He doesn't think he'll ever get enough of this, tasting Tommy's skin on his tongue, Tommy's naked body beneath him, knowing he can touch wherever he wants, that he's allowed.  
　  
"Why not?" Tommy asks, his hips rolling up against Adam. He looks blissed out, not at all hesitant about being with a man. Eager even though there is no way being laid out on the stairs naked can be comfortable.   
　  
"No lube, no condoms and I'm not letting you have your first time with a man be some quick fuck on the stairs," Adam says firmly, even though he really doesn't want to stop pressing against Tommy's naked body, skin to skin, it feels amazing.  
　  
"Don't want slow," Tommy groans.  
　  
"Quick fuck in my bed at least?" Adam asks.  
　  
"Yeah, okay, bed now, like right fucking now," Tommy says pushing at Adam's chest, trying to get up. Adam stands, pulling Tommy to his feet after him.  
　  
They make it into his bedroom and Adam takes great delight in picking up Tommy and tossing him onto the bed. He's not been allowed to do anything physical in weeks, no working out, no picking up anything heavy, not that Tommy's all that heavy. He just likes not having to live with so many restrictions, no forced abstinence, no being careful, no taking it easy anymore. He doesn't join Tommy on the bed, sees him pout until he realizes Adam is getting lube and a condom. He drops the stuff on the bed, then crawls on top of Tommy. He can't believe he has Tommy naked in his bed, even though he's had Tommy sleeping in his bed since he came out of the hospital, this is still shocking somehow.   
　  
He looks so beautiful that Adam can't stop looking at him, touching him, kissing places he has dreamed of kissing. When Adam kisses a path down Tommy's chest, licks a wet stripe over Tommy's hip, mouth teasingly close to Tommy's cock, the whimper that comes out of Tommy at that nails Adam right in the balls. He'd thought about going slow, teasing Tommy until he was a whimpering mess, but he can't wait. He wraps his lips around the head, sucking hard. He licks and sucks, already addicted to the taste of Tommy. He could do this forever, make Tommy lose it with his mouth over and over again, but it seems Tommy has different idea.  
　  
"Fuck, God, your mouth, stop, want you to fuck me," Tommy moans, the sound of his voice making Adam shiver. He pulls off of Tommy's cock, crawls up till he can kiss Tommy on the mouth, pushing his legs back till Tommy's knees are closer to his face, his ass exposed to Adam. He gets hold of the lube, slicks his fingers up and starts prepping Tommy while they kiss. Tommy doesn't tense up at all, just keeps kissing Adam like it's the best thing ever. Tommy doesn't break the kiss till Adam has three fingers buried as deep as they will go.  
　  
"I'm ready, please." Tommy whimpers.  
　  
Years of not knowing Tommy wanted him, weeks of abstinence for health reasons, they've both been waiting a long time for this. Adam's surprised his hands aren't shaking when he rolls on the condom. Tommy's been convincing him not to go slow ever since he walked in the door, more so once he found out Adam wasn't at risk of having a seizure anymore. But Adam won't be hurried along now. He wants Tommy to remember his first time with a man for all the right reasons. He ignores his body’s demands to go hard and fast after weeks of abstaining from sex and jerking off. This isn't just about him. He wants Tommy to like this as much as he knows he will. He pushes into Tommy slowly, inch by inch till he's all the way in, then keeps still, letting Tommy get used to the feeling of being penetrated.  
　  
Tommy's legs wrap around Adam's waist and he's pleased to see that Tommy's still hard, that the pain that can come with the first time hasn't been bad enough for Tommy to lose his hard on. He starts rolling his hips, picking up speed when all that comes from Tommy is pleasure filled moans. Tommy sounds better than some fake porno track, but he's just as loud. He loves the way Tommy sounds, so vocal and Adam can feel himself grinning, so pleased with himself that he's the reason Tommy sounds like that. Tommy goes still under him, gasping, shock fluttering over his face before pleasure takes over, moaning out Adam's name as he comes without either of them touching his cock.  
　  
"Oh my fucking God, made me come on your cock, fuck Adam," Tommy pants out and Adam doesn't think he's ever seen anything so beautiful as Tommy falling apart beneath him, because of him. He wants it to last forever, but he can't remember the last time he came. His orgasm rolls through him, making him shake, calling out Tommy's name. He rolls off of Tommy, because he thinks otherwise he'll end up slumping down onto Tommy and squishing him.  
　  
They clean up together, then get into their normal bed clothes. They get in bed together and Adam pulls Tommy close, cuddling him close the way they do every night. He thinks things should feel different, really different, he's finally slept with Tommy after years of waiting. He feels good, whole body still sensitive from the pleasure that he had tonight. Good doesn't really cover it, he feels amazing, but other than that, this could be like any other night this week. He still loves Tommy, still can't think of a better way to sleep than with Tommy in his arms. He's not annoyed that they had to wait so long, because the wait was more than worth it, and he knows that what they have is more than just sexual attraction. He loves Tommy, knows he's loved back and considering everything that has happened, all that they had to get through to be here, it's all worth it. He doesn't think he'll ever be happy about the fact that he was so ill, that a dozen gossip bloggers had posted articles about his supposed drug use, but none of that matters. Having Tommy cuddled to his chest at night, knowing that he's loved, he'd have gone through worse if he had to do it to get this. He knows that every morning he wakes up to Tommy being with him, he'll remember just how lucky he is and how funny fate can be.  
　  
The End.


End file.
